Sunday

My Selfishness

How selfish have I become?

During my school days, I had to write essays on brain drain. I gave extempores on the topic. Without understanding the jist of the problem, I could expatiate on the subject at length. Without grasping the lures of a foreign land and the clutches of India, I criticized those who left the shores for good. Without comprehending the reasons behind the lack of opportunities in India, I tried to justify their decisions of not coming back to India. I tried to be diplomatic. I tried to present a balanced view. Due to my lack of knowledge. Due to my lack of experience. Due to the fact that a balanced point of view is always considered good.

And now, here I am. In the U.S. Although never really the country of my dreams, I nevertheless wanted to visit this land of oppurtunities. And it has put me in a really advantageous situation as far as commenting on the issue of brain drain is concerned. I now understand that there is a reason to Indian shackles. That the U.S experience, although materialistically fulfilling, can sometimes leave that gnawing hole in my heart which can only become more sore with time. That the problems of India cannot be reduced to mere statistics. That buried under these problems are those millions who have to work out of their skins just to have food once daily. And what am I concerned about? That I wont get a job which pays a million annually in India... Is it not selfishness. I think so...

Do I deserve all that I have today? Hardwork has something to do with this but is it not dependent upon luck also? Is it not due to the oppurtunities that I got? Which brings me to the point that what about all those who never got these oppurtunities. Doesn't it put me in a situation wherein I owe something to the society where I came from? No one has pressed this issue upon me. Its just that this distance between me and my country has removed that haze which had blurred my vision. I can see things in perspective now. Although I am still level headed enough not to claim that I can feel and understand the problems that the majority faces back in India ( as I don't really), I can atleast say that I empathise with them. Although my future is still uncertain, I can see that light at the end of this tunnel. And that light seems to be coming from India.

2 comments:

kowsik said...

I liked this article the most... probably because I have the same questions too

Anurup K.T said...

Well its more of a paradox you see, we will always want more. Even if we have evrything we would always crib, so I guess probably if you were to come bakc eventually you might just get disillusioned. Or you might again compare India to wat it could be in your eyes. So the debate would be never ending...

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Like a particularly notorious child's tantrums, a mountaneous river's intemperance, a volcano's reckless carelessness and the dreamy eyes of a caged bird, imagination tries to fly unfettered. Hesitant as she takes those first steps, she sculpts those ambitious yet half baked earthen pots.