Here are some things which have so often in the past, perplexed me and forced me to ruminate over the nature of life and reality and what not:
1. Donkey : Whats that expression on a donkey's face ? Its like, he is perpetually trying to solve an immensely difficult problem, his eyes fixated on the ground below, his jaws constantly chewing upon the last bit of garbage he ate and his posture unperturbed by the inconsistencies of weather. He doesn't care whether you stand there watching his medidative self. He doesn't give a damn about the dog that is shouting himself hoarse. The only thing he really seems to care about is that immediate problem at hand. And he thinks and thinks and thinks. I am not sure if he is ever able to solve it but after much meditation, you see him walking away, contended, satisfied and visibly happy.
2. Why do adults use illogical language in the presence of babies ? You see a perfectly normal couple who would otherwise easily make it into the list of homo sapiens but give them a baby and my god, all hell breaks loose. The lady will start with "oomchhs" and "aaafs" and the man will start making monkey faces. I just dont get that how is a baby, who is inept at understanding normal language, expected to understand a language which even fully grown adults cannot ? How can distorted, ghastly faces make him feel happy ? It happened to me once. I was in presence of a 1 year old baby and I, like a perfectly well mannered gentleman, shook his hand and asked him how he was and everyone started laughing. Wierd.
3. "Every rule has an exception" is a paradox. Does this rule have one ?
4. Snails : Where are they going seriously ? No, seriously. You see ants moving and you know that they are going to their home and they will most probably reach it. You see snakes move and you think maybe its a prey. But where are the snails going ? You see a big open ground which has nothing but harsh concrete for meters and meters and you see a snail in the middle of it all and it is moving in one of the generic directions at .03 mm/hour and you wonder, WHERE THE HELL ? There should be a new rule which will prohibit movement if you move less than 1 mm/s because of the humungous futility of it all.
5. In a disaster flick, how come its always the case that all those who survive at the end also happened to be the main characters and had the bulk of the screentime ? Why don't you ever see that generic cabdriver survive ? How come its always the minnows who die ? If ever I get a chance to make a movie, I will make one which will primarily consist of a giant lizard eating up main characters. Just when the audience would be forming their theories about who of all the heroes and heroines should live, my lizard will come kicking asses everywhere and finishing up all the important stuff in one gulp. Rest of the movie will comprise of generic looking people running here and there with the lizard munching away with fun and frolic and in the end I will show 10 people who had nothing to do with the movie previously, killing the beast and celebrating. Yes, thats how it will end. It will be the victory of the average joe over celebrity worship, nepotism, favouritism and partiality. Man, the movie would rule all over the place.
Enough for now. I think about many more things. Saving them for later.
1. Donkey : Whats that expression on a donkey's face ? Its like, he is perpetually trying to solve an immensely difficult problem, his eyes fixated on the ground below, his jaws constantly chewing upon the last bit of garbage he ate and his posture unperturbed by the inconsistencies of weather. He doesn't care whether you stand there watching his medidative self. He doesn't give a damn about the dog that is shouting himself hoarse. The only thing he really seems to care about is that immediate problem at hand. And he thinks and thinks and thinks. I am not sure if he is ever able to solve it but after much meditation, you see him walking away, contended, satisfied and visibly happy.
2. Why do adults use illogical language in the presence of babies ? You see a perfectly normal couple who would otherwise easily make it into the list of homo sapiens but give them a baby and my god, all hell breaks loose. The lady will start with "oomchhs" and "aaafs" and the man will start making monkey faces. I just dont get that how is a baby, who is inept at understanding normal language, expected to understand a language which even fully grown adults cannot ? How can distorted, ghastly faces make him feel happy ? It happened to me once. I was in presence of a 1 year old baby and I, like a perfectly well mannered gentleman, shook his hand and asked him how he was and everyone started laughing. Wierd.
3. "Every rule has an exception" is a paradox. Does this rule have one ?
4. Snails : Where are they going seriously ? No, seriously. You see ants moving and you know that they are going to their home and they will most probably reach it. You see snakes move and you think maybe its a prey. But where are the snails going ? You see a big open ground which has nothing but harsh concrete for meters and meters and you see a snail in the middle of it all and it is moving in one of the generic directions at .03 mm/hour and you wonder, WHERE THE HELL ? There should be a new rule which will prohibit movement if you move less than 1 mm/s because of the humungous futility of it all.
5. In a disaster flick, how come its always the case that all those who survive at the end also happened to be the main characters and had the bulk of the screentime ? Why don't you ever see that generic cabdriver survive ? How come its always the minnows who die ? If ever I get a chance to make a movie, I will make one which will primarily consist of a giant lizard eating up main characters. Just when the audience would be forming their theories about who of all the heroes and heroines should live, my lizard will come kicking asses everywhere and finishing up all the important stuff in one gulp. Rest of the movie will comprise of generic looking people running here and there with the lizard munching away with fun and frolic and in the end I will show 10 people who had nothing to do with the movie previously, killing the beast and celebrating. Yes, thats how it will end. It will be the victory of the average joe over celebrity worship, nepotism, favouritism and partiality. Man, the movie would rule all over the place.
Enough for now. I think about many more things. Saving them for later.
9 comments:
1. You are over analyzing a simple problem.
3. Every rule doesn't have an exception. Although I know many similar paradoxes on philo plane.
5. You need to watch Grindhouse. All your whinings have been answered in that movie. all the main characters die just when you do not expect them. Most important scenes would be missing and the producer apologizes for the same.
5. If you ever get an opportunity, I can see a beast of yuccaflats in making ;)
Snails move? I thought they could only be drifted by air when it over-powered their gummy asses. But they are still faster than some human-like creatures are on their treadmills. The latter should be banned first.
@Amit: I do need to watch Grindhouse. From the looks of it, the movie seems amazing... and afterall, its Quentin Tarantino. So it should be mindless and fun!
@Himanshu: I would be honoured to even be considered as having the potential of making a movie of such garangutan proportions :)
@Phantom: Yes, Mr. *I forget his name* needs to be banned from walking in a "fast forwarded slow motion" replay. I am sure the snails would beat him left right and center in a race :)
In that case do not forget to watch the "preveus" which come as a bonus with the movie. They are disgustingly hilarious.
Good one....
I received some more so here goes...
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches ?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?
Why do we call it a building when its already built ?
If its true that we are here to help others.. then what are others here for ?
If we are not supposed to drink and drive, why do pubs have parking lots ?
As for your post.... amusing ;)
@Amitesh: Watched Grindhouse. GROSE !!!!!!!, DISGUSTINGLY GROSE !!!!!!, CHOKINGLY GROSE !!!!!! but fun nevertheless
@Anurup: The world is filled with such paradoxes. Its people like us who are instrumental in making sense of this otherwise jumbled up system :)
Spotted you while doing some googling .....Nice posts and deeply philoshophical too. Enjoyed going through them . Hope to read some other musings soon .
@Gunjan: are gunjan bhaiyya kaise hain aap ? Orkut ke baad aaj peheli baar message mila hai aapka... aur zaranavazish ke liye shukriya :)...
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